It Occurred To Me

...that I haven't told you about Lee.

Lee is a character who really excites me. He has virtually begun to write his own story. I pitched it to my 18-year-old daughter and she is quite excited by him as well, so I already have a beta reader when I finish putting him to paper (or to computer, as the case may be).

His story is a coming-of-age, and I had originally planned for it to be teen fiction. Lee grows up with no interest in girls and has thus concluded that he is gay. But the plot thickens, because he begins dating a really cute guy, yet when it gets down to things and despite all his lusty drooling, he's too scared to sleep with him and just "can't perform". He then falls in Love (capital L) with his best friend, a girl, despite the fact that her body does absolutely nothing for him - Lee is not gay but pansexual (attracted to beautiful minds) and the story is his awakening as he grows up. I don't believe it's been done-to-death, and "accepting that I am gay" has already been done in teen fiction. I wanted something not done-to-death, and poor pansexual people are the forgotten race, so to speak, lost in the shadows of all the gay coming-out stories.

However, I'm wavering on the category now (teen), because a key plot point is Lee ending up in bed with that girl, and this is when the real confusion hits and he questions whether he's actually gay. (Stay with me.) Interestingly, the mechanics of that scene have played out in my head many, many times, always really explicit despite not wanting to write porn, and it is the reason for the conundrum - you can't be explicit in teen fiction. So, I'm thinking that I will try to address it by not getting down to mechanics. Which is difficult, because it is Lee's physical reactions (ahem) that lead him to question his orientation, both with the cute boyfriend and with the girl.

My wavering about that one, pivotal scene has caused me to come to a dead stop in my planning. I should just keep writing - put the rest of the bones in place. But I stopped and tried to do that scene in my head a thousand times and then lost momentum. And then went back to writing more of Lisa's story (Mistaken Identity, working title).

I will come back to you, Lee.